Exported to China to pay for a phony war in Iraq and phony profits to Washington Mutual and Citi, that’s where.

Watch this film from China. It’s the most important thing you’ll learn all year.

I agree with you, kid.

After seeing this video, I am now a believer:

Shanghai is busy preparing for the olympics in 2010 and has begun an earnest campaign to train their citizens to act well-mannered. Of the 100 such recommendations are these two gems:

• Don’t walk outside in pajamas or with a naked torso.
• Trim your nostril hair short.

The report does not, however, mention what to do should you use your nostril hair to cover your naked torso.

Xinhua reports that Apple will sell AIDS. Translation mishap I think. The market is not big enough.

A man has an accident and loses his ability to urinate while standing. He demands a penis transplant to restore his God-given right to pee. The psychological acceptance went poorly — partly because the wife rejected the new member. Perhaps she preferred him to sit?

Here is a trance song using only vocals.

I agree with Slate: HeadOn has the best advertisement< I have ever seen. Listening to their sledgehammer sales pitch, I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Then I laughed some more reading the article. A+ indeed!

HeadOn: Apply Directly to the Forehead.

Gillette finally listened to the exec screaming, “I don’t care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!” Perhaps all of you are going to run out and buy the new Gillette Fusion now. After all, “shaving with anything less than five blades is like scraping your beard off with a dull hatchet.”

Google is eerily prescient about the future

How amusing to hear that the Brits love the 4th of July.